some good news

I've been pretty down lately, feeling like I don't have real plans for the fall and that nothing is going to come through. Today, especially, it was a real struggle to keep myself afloat.

I have to admit -- though it will make me sound a tad foolish -- that this is partly due to a mild depression over the end of the Harry Potter series. I always get slightly depressed from reading a really good book -- it's my test for what makes a book "great" -- and this one was a little worse because it's the end of a whole series. No more Harry. Well, not new Harry, anyway.

Also, I've had a hard time sleeping lately. I'm not sure how much of that is from staying up late at night to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, how much is due to the stress of filling out applications, and how much is just plain insomnia. But it doesn't help my mood during the day, I'll just say that.

I really hate all of my viable options for the fall. Every one of them involves living with someone -- sponging off them, basically -- and I really hate that. I've had a good time in Kansas with Margo, but it stresses me, too, to know that I'm mooching off her and her family. But the plain fact is that I'm going to have to live with someone else for a while. I'm in no financial position to be finding my own place right off the bat. So I'm coming to terms with that.

But there are glimmers of light among all this darkness.

First, I got my hair cut today. Margo's cousin has a cosmetology license, and she cut it for a very reasonable price. I'd heard rave reviews about her work -- although admittedly all from her family -- so I was looking forward to having it done well. And so far, I'm very happy with it. Margo tried to convince me to chop it off, but I just got it trimmed, so it's still pretty long.

Second, I finished two of my applications today. Well, mostly at least -- I still have to get letters of reference and transcripts in for one place. But the other application (which only required a cover letter and CV) is completely done. I'm planning to mail it tomorrow. On Monday I'm going to call up to ... the first place ... and ask whether it's OK with them to have references and transcripts sent directly to the department.

So, all is not lost. I will go on, and I will enjoy life, and somehow things will work out. And tomorrow I'm going on a temple trip with the local branch, and I plan to have a good, long talk with Heavenly Father about all my options and frustrations -- and that will make things better, whether in one way or another.

Optimism is always harder than pessimism. (Not a direct quote, but it's a philosophy espoused by ... 25 points)