Sunday, April 15, 2007

My 10-year high school reunion is this summer. And the queasiness in my stomach is not from the utter lack of food consumed over the past two days.

I remember, back in 2002, worrying that we would have a reunion. Same feeling then.

I'm not sure just why this is such a terrifying thought to me. I enjoyed high school -- I truly did. I was happy, for the most part, I had friends, and -- although I admittedly did some really stupid things -- it was not the angsty experience for me that it is for so many.

I think I dread the idea of a reunion largely because I have felt so much more content after high school. I loved college from the first minute I set foot on my new campus. I loved the classes, the teachers, the freedom, the people I met.

Most of all, the people. I have found so many people after high school who understand me so much better than the small circle of friends I had then. My truly best friends -- the ones I can talk to about anything, even when it's been months, the one who appreciate my nerdy-but-fun character, the ones who make me feel at home even when I'm not home -- have been the ones I've met after high school.

I've found so much of myself after high school that I almost want to deny that part of my life ever happened -- and I'm even willing to throw out all the good things about it to have that wish fulfilled. Even though I consider myself quite a confident person, for the most part, just the thought of facing high school again makes me want to cower in a corner.

The wrenching in my guts reminds me of the feeling I get when I contemplate the possibility of living in my parents' ward (the one I grew up in) for any length of time. There is something about that time of my life that -- despite all the happy, good times I had then -- makes me feel deeply unsettled.

Whew! There is a lot of angst in me over high school.

I may have to stay away from that reunion.
Declare this an emergency! Come on and spread a sense of urgency! (22 points)

The last quote ... well, no one has really had time to comment on it, so I'll let it stand for now -- points are still up for grabs.

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